And God said unto me...

And God said unto me "Rejoice! For the Flying V that has caused thee to wet thyself with desire when walking past music shops is now within thy grubby grasp!"

And, lo, the heavens did part and the angels did sing and mine browser did point to eBay where the most divine and holy sight did strike mine eyes:

It appeared to me in all its shiny glory, and I did place a bid and cross mine fingers that nobody else would cock this up for me.

And as the clock did tick down the remaining hours until the auction ended, I prayed to mine everlasting and holy God of Power Chords that this guitar would be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine.

6 hours and 42 minutes to go...

This is just...brilliant

This is quite possibly the best, and most random, ad I've ever seen...

...ever.

Whoever made it deserves a lollipop.

Fuckit. Two lollipops.

Whatever happened to live and let live?

[begin rant]

Velvet Revolver have just released a new album, Libertad, which I *ahem* managed to get my mitts on last night. Before, um... 'receiving' said album, I looked up a couple of reviews online to see what the general vibe was about the music. It's been three years since their incredible debut, Contraband, and I was interested to see what people thought of their new offering. I'd head so many rumours - that Pharrell Williams (of N.E.R.D.) was going to be producing it, that Slash had walked out of the studio saying "I thought this was a fucking rock band, I ain't playing fucking disco", etc., etc. - that I didn't really know what to expect.

For the most part the reviews were good - really good - but one stuck out in my mind as being particularly stupid ignorant amusing. Some guy something along the lines of "It just sounds like Stone Temple Pilots and Guns 'N' Roses" and then proceeded to call anyone who liked the album a "fag".

*sigh*

I get so tired of this shit. People taking the piss out of other people for listening to certain types of music or certain bands or whatevs. What is the problem here? Why do you care if all I want to listen to is shouty-shouty music? Or country? Does that make me less of a person? If you prick me, WILL I NOT STILL BLEED?!?!

Heheh.

I had a similar blood-vessel-about-to-burst-in-my-head experience a couple of weeks ago when I heard about people throwing bottles of piss at My Chemical Romance when they headlined at Download.

Now, I know I've just confessed to recently becoming a fan of MCR, but this mini-rant emerged back at the start of last month before I'd listened to much of their stuff. In fact, MCR were really only brought to my attention when I saw footage of all those silly people throwing bottles at them on stage. And they're not the first band that this has happened to.

Personally, I just don't see the point. Do you really think that any band are going to stand on stage in front of, oh let's give a conservative estimate of 30,000 people, and pay any attention to the hundred or so that are throwing bottles at them? Or will they look at the remaining 29,900 people who are singing along and jumping up and down to the songs and continue to play for them instead?

Hmm... it's a toughie!

But more than that, at the time that My Chemical Romance were on the main stage, Korn and Suicidal Tendencies were playing on the other two stages. Why were those hundred or so morons throwing bottles at MCR when they could have been watching either of these two other bands? Why would you waste your time throwing missiles at an "emo fag" band when you could have been watching some "proper metal" band on another stage just a few feet away? Or when you could have gone to the bar and had a drink? Or when you could have gone back to the campsite and cranked up Slayer at full blast and started headbutting your friends or whatever it is you do for fun?

I don't get it.

I don't understand this mentality of "if it's not what I like, then it's shit". My ex-husband used to do that a lot. "If it's not Canadian, it's crap" was his motto. Which is fine, you know, as long as you keep it to yourself. But he would constantly ridicule people from other nations, including his best friend's girlfriend who was Greek, and including me, Irish, because of our "funny customs", etc. Why would you bother? All it results in is a lot of pissed off people and, in this case, divorce. Because this was a major factor in us breaking up. That and the fact that he's a cheating, lying, lazy bastard, may he rot in hell forever.

Why can't people just live and let live? Who cares if I listen to what you consider to be crappy music? If I'm not forcing you to listen to it, and I'm not preventing you from listening to something more to your liking, then what's the frickin' problem?

People annoy me at times.

Oh, and before I forget, to the person who wrote that Velvet Revolver just sounds like Stone Temple Pilots and Guns 'N' Roses mixed together - what the fuck were you expecting?! It's the lead singer of STP and three of the members of GNR!!! What did you think they'd sound like?!
Also, for the record, Libertad rocks!

[end rant]

While my guitar gently weeps

Isn't it amazing how music has evolved over the centuries. From Beethoven to Boyzone, from Elvis to Evanescence, from Mozart to Metallica, when I think about it, it makes me marvel at the ingenuity of the human mind.

However, it's so easy to become blasé about music. I listen to music for a couple of hours a day - when I get up in the morning, in the car, at work, at the gym - but I don't often take the time to actually listen to the songs. Usually, when I'm listening to music, I'm engaged in some other activity, and the songs become part of the background noise.

In almost every aspect of life, you are bombarded with music - sometimes good, sometimes bad, and sometimes plain shite. There are catchy jingles on the radio and tv selling you everything from hemorrhoid cream to bread. TV shows and movies are rated as much by their soundtrack as they are for the acting, directing or aesthetic appeal. Live gigs have become big business and going to summer festivals has become almost a rite of passage in modern society. All in all, it's quite easy to just let the tunes wash over you.

But every now and then, I'll hear a song that quite literally stops me in my tracks. Sometimes it'll be a new song on the radio, that I've never heard before, but sometimes it's a song that I've heard dozens of times before, but never really paid attention to.

And I think it's incredible that music can have this kind of reaction. That music has the power to inspire such emotions in a person. Music can cause you to feel joy, hope, confusion, depsair, hurt, longing, lust, nostaliga, heartbreak, and so much more.

Anyhoo, on Saturday I was on the train down to London, and was listening to myPod, as usual. The tunes were pretty good, as I have great taste in music (:-D), and then Black by Pearl Jam came on, and it made me catch my breath. I've been a Pearl Jam fan for many years, and I've heard this song countless times before. I always thought it was good, but on Saturday, as I sat on the train watching England whizzing by, with myPod turned up loud, it had a heart-wrenching effect on me.

I think the combination of a very mellow and yet dramatic tune, Eddie Vedder's mournful voice, lyrics that are utterly despairing and the haunting piano just made me feel hollow inside. Towards the end of the song, the last verse, his voice becomes so anguished and wretched that it made me want to howl and weep in sympathy with his pain.

I'd forgotten that music can cause this kind of reaction; that it can be this powerful and moving.
From now on, I'm resolving to spend more time actually listening to music, rather than letting it fade into the background. And I'm dedicating this blog to Mr. Eddie Vedder for reminding me of this simple pleasure.

In new music we trust? (Or, radio killed the really good bands)

I love music. I listen to music all day long, every single day. Radio in the morning while I'm getting dressed; cassette tapes in the car (CDs weren't invented when my car was born); Internet radio at work; side two of the tape on the way home in the car; iPod in the gym; CD at night when I'm reading in bed.

I'm a slave to music.

In fact, sometimes I like to pretend that the music is actually the soundtrack to the movie that is my life. And I'll change the songs on myPod according to my mood and/or current situation, as one would expect in the movie. For example, if I'm feeling particularly down, I'll put on some really lonesome tunes, and imagine the camera panning out from my face as I stare disconsolately out the window, the rain lashing down outside, and the sound of a blues guitar wailing the background.

Yes, I am sad; no, my real life isn't fulfilling enough; yes, I have an over-active imagination; and, yes, I have far too much free time on my hands. Thanks for asking.

However, I've started to notice that new music is crap. And not in the good way. I like plenty of crap music, for example, Good Charlotte (they're hilarious, and they look so ridiculous that I'm convinced they're just doing it for a laugh!) and Fall Out Boy (I love the fact that they're fugly, pot bellied little things, with lamb chops on the sides of their heads, and they write great lyrics - "loaded god complex/cock it and pull it"). But I don't see why people feel justified in ridiculing my taste in music, while at the same time, jumping on the Arctic Monkeys/Dirty Pretty Things bandwagon.

Don't they realise that the only reason these bands are "famous" is because the likes of Radio 1 hypes them up so much?

Let's take a couple of prime examples - Coldplay and Franz Ferdinand. Remember when Coldplay used to be good? I know, it was a LONG time ago, but just try to remember.... The first album? Something about Parachutes..? No? Well, it was a really good album! But then it got played so much on radio that it became painful to listen to. Then, the band started believing the hype written about them (I read something about Chris Martin saying they were going to be the next U2... Why anyone would actively seek to become the next U2 is beyond me.), and now they're just another bunch of pretentious posers with shite songs that all sound the same.

Same thing with Franz Ferdinand. Their first couple of songs were quite good. But, again, they were overplayed and talked up to the point that when I did actually see them live, they seemed to expect the audience to prostrate themselves in glorious wonder before them as they wowed us with their Scottish accents and funny straight-legged trousers.

The Arctic Monkeys make me laugh. And not in a good way. In a cynical, bitter, "You think you're great, but you'll not last the year, you one-album-wonderless maggots" kind of way. They released one song (which was actually quite good) and next thing they're nominated for about ten Brit Awards, knocking Kaiser Chiefs off the charts. What's that all about? According to Radio 1, they're the best thing since sliced bread, and yet their last single sounded like somebody gently placed an out-of-tune guitar against an amp, turned it all the way up to 11, and then stood about five feet back, shouting nonsense into a microphone. What rubbish! That's one band seriously in danger of disappearing up their own arses in a vain attempt to find the sun that supposedly shines out of there.

And now all this hype about Dirty Pretty Things, who are only famous 'cause one of them used to be in The Libertines with Pete Doherty who used to shag Kate Moss and is now addicted to heroin and is in court every day, but keeps getting off 'cause he promises to be good. Or something.

As for Gnarles Barkley.... Now, I love Zane Lowe. I think he's done wonders for new music in this country, and I'd have his babies tomorrow if he asked me to. But, god help me, if I ever see him in the street I'll break out the pimp hand and give him a taste of my knuckles for introducing that bloody "Crazy" song. Of course, I'll offer to kiss him better afterwards...
Then you've got people like James Blunt; "singer/songwriters" who get overplayed so much that they pretty much destroy any hopes of real talent (such as Paddy Casey or Josh Ritter) making a breakthrough into the charts.

*sigh*

It makes me sad that my gorgeous baby niece will grow up in a world where lyrics and sound doesn't matter half as much as who the lead singer is dating, and what drugs he's currently trying to snort up his nostrils. Where radio DJs have the power to make or break a band, depending on the amount of airplay he's willing to give them (for a price, of course).

When it comes to new music, I think the Kaiser Chiefs said it best when they said "Every day I love you less and less".

<--------------------- END RANT -------------------->

"And that was the latest effort from blackie, who's slipped a further five places in this week's chart. Next up, Beyonce, with another song that sounds exactly like all her other ones! Time now is ten past eight..."