I'm ill.
My head has been stuffed with cotton wool, lead and helium, which is an interesting, yet wholly undesireable feeling.
My eyes are still full of hot sand.
My throat has had the insides scraped out and rubbed vigorously with salt & vinegar resulting in an altogether very unsexy croaky voice.
My neck and shoulders have been encased in concrete, restricting every movement I make and weighing me down so that I feel that little bit closer to hell with every minute that ticks by.
Hi Satan!
My lower back throbs with a dull yet persistant ache that makes me want to strap a hot water bottle on there and curl up into the feotal position until it's time to die.
My limbs feel like they've just run ten marathons back to back whilst scrubbing red wine stains out of a white shirt using an old fashioned washboard, soap that won't lather and very hard and cold water.
My body temperature swings unpredictably between unbearably hot and shivering cold, meaning that I'm constantly either ripping off jumpers or frantically trying to wrap them around me again to retain some semblance of warmth.
I'm tired, yet I can't sleep.
So I'm at work.
"Shouldn't you be at home?" I hear you say.
"Yes," I reply. "Yes I should. I was at home all day yesterday and I should have stayed there again today."
So, why didn't I?
Because I got bored, that's why. That's how ill I actually am. I got bored. I couldn't go outside because the weather was too cold and shitty. So I stayed inside all day. Our Internets isn't working because of some problem with the line. I hate daytime TV. I finished reading The Historian (fantastic book - Mozz, give it another go, seriously) and need some time to digest that one before I can pick up any other. I've watched all the DVDs in the house. I've read all the newspapers and magazines. By 8pm last night, I was climbing the walls. And then I got bored of doing that! I'm restless and I can't concentrate long enough on any one thing to relieve the boredom.
Today, when I woke up, I found out that we don't even have TV anymore because a rather horrible hail storm last night has done something funny to our connection. No Internets and no TV make Claire go crazy.
So, instead of staying at home and developing a nice case of cabin fever, I decided to go to work. Might as well get paid for being bored shitless, right?
*sniffle*
*cough*
Should have brought my duvet...
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