We're all guilty of it.
Schadenfreude, that is.
"Satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune" according to dictionary.com.
Even the kindest, most warm-heartest, most love-to-pet-fluffy-puppies-on-the-head-whilst-simultaneously-kissing-babies-and-giving-money-to-charity do-gooders amongst us can't help but smirk just a little bit when we see the prick in the Mercedes get done for speeding.
It's human nature to have a little giggle, isn't it?
And there's no shortage of schadenfreude in my life.
This morning, my colleague, the new girl (NG for short), came into my office, bolted the door and said "Oh God! I need to talk to you!"
My interest piqued by the urgency and distress in her voice, I swivelled around in my chair and asked what was up. Thence flowed forth a litany of grief to which I nodded my head sagely and uttered condolences, for her aggrevations were all too familiar to me.
Some of you know that, when I started in my current job just under a year and a half ago, I was very unhappy. It was the usual problem - the combination of bad pay, a high workload and an incompetent boss. Happily, my situation has now changed. I'm still in the same job, and the pay is only slightly better, whilst the workload and moronic boss remain the same. But I recently went through a somewhat introspective stage and I sat down and had a good hard think about it all and emerged feeling more positive and happier about the whole thing. I realised that it is entirely up to me to make the best of this situation, to learn as much as I can, and then to move on to bigger and better things. And once you've gotten your head around that, it makes it a hell of a lot easier to get up in the morning, let me tell you.
Anyhoo, NG had been to her first client meeting with the boss yesterday and by the time she got home last night she was wondering if she had actually gone mad. Her litany of complaints ranged from the boss treating her like a secretary in front of the clients to him telling her she should be out scouting for new business by herself but then telling her she's not capable of working on her own and that she needs to be part of the team.
She ended on a Mugatu note - "I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! Is it just me or is he completely unreasonable?!"
Unfortunately, it was all too familiar to me, for you see this time last year, I was asking the exact same question. I knew that the way he was acting was unreasonable (piling on the work until I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown; calling me on weekends to ask where files were; calling me at midnight on Sunday night to tell me I had to travel to a meeting at 6:30am Monday morning; making sexist jokes about me in front of clients; treating me like a secretary in front of clients; butting into conversations with clients just so he could try to prove he was smarter than me, and so on ad naseum), and yet, at the same time, I began to wonder if it was just me who was being naive or stupid or overexpectant.
The problem with dealing with people who have no organisational, management or people skills is that, if they come across as utterly confident in themselves, and refuse to change despite the many subtle and later blatent hints you give them, eventually you start to think that maybe the problem lies with you. Maybe you're being intolerant?
So, I sat NG down and explained to her that the problem is not with her. That the problem is indeed with the boss. After all, he's A Boss, isn't he? And we all know what they're like...
I also explained that, after a while, your bullshit-filter becomes more fine-tuned and you learn to disregard the 99% of crap that comes out of a boss' mouth, and to digest and analyse the important 1% that comprises actual useful information.
"Unfortunately," I told her, "it takes time, but you will eventually get to the stage where you don't feel like stabbing him in the neck with a pencil every time he opens his mouth. It's a slow process, but at least you're not alone. I didn't have anyone to talk to about this last year, so count your blessings! I feel your pain and I'm available for a bitching session any time!"
As I sent her on her way, I couldn't help but feel a little smidgen of satisfaction. It's nice to know that NG feels the same way I did this time last year because it means that I wasn't imagining it or making a mountain out of a molehill. This time last year, I felt so alone and frustrated because I had no one to talk to about this. I was the only girl working for the company, and the other guys had been here too long and were too attuned to the boss to be able to comiserate. Sure, I could talk about it with my beau, my friends and my family, but I always got the feeling they thought I was blowing things out of proportion a bit because some of the things my boss did or said were so outlandish. So, I felt like I was going stir crazy.
Now that I've seen the light at the end of the tunnel, I know that NG will be fine in the long run, but there's a little part of me that still enjoys seeing her frustration because it makes mine a little more valid.
Does that make me a bad person?
--
If my boss is reading this, then of course none of this is true. It's all made up. And exaggerated, grossly, for entertainment and comedic effect. It might be best if you forget you ever read this. 
--
I apologise in retrospect for any typos in this blog. I'm typing this with one hand because last night I sliced my middle finger on my left hand whilst I was chopping vegetables for dinner. So much for trying to be healthy. The damn thing bled all night and, in fact, I think it's still bleeding now. Actually, I feel kinda woozy...
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