I can be your hero

I haven't been watching Heroes, but I gather it's about a bunch of people who "thought they were like everyone else...until they realized they have incredible abilities" (or so Wikipedia tells me). Apparently the first season shows the various people discovering their super powers, such as being able to heal themselves quickly, stop time, predict the future, fly, and so on and so forth. The next couple of seasons go on to show the new super people with their super powers doing, I presume, super things and getting themselves into all sorts of super situations. So far, so fictional, right?

Well, today I'm going to bust that fiction wide open (no, I have no idea what that means either), as I reveal to you a mysterious modern miracle and proof that human beings can have super powers.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...

...myself.

That's right. I have a super power. Well, I'm not so sure of the "super" part of it, but I certainly have a power.

What could it be? Is it super hearing powers? Or maybe x-ray vision? Perhaps I have the ability to run vast distances without tiring? Or is mine the power to make the best carrot and ginger soup in all the land?

No, no, no and yes, but that's not my super power.

No, ladies and gents. My super power is this: I can switch off fluorescent lights with only the power of my mind.

It's true.

Weird, but true.

Completely useless, but true.

Totally uncontrolled, but, nevertheless, true.

And I lied about the "with the power of my mind" part, but the rest is true.

I don't know how long I've had this "power", but I only really began to notice it a few years ago. I'd be walking down the street of an evening, perhaps on my way t'pub or maybe going home, and suddenly the street light I was walking under would switch off. Or I'd be walking across a car park, looking for my car, and the light above would flicker... and go out.

Strangely, this doesn't happen to every fluorescent light; just some of them. And it doesn't seem to happen indoors; rather, it tends to apply only to street lights and the kind of strip lighting you get in underground car parks or passageways. You know... the kind of places where you really don't want the lights to go out. But it's happened regularly enough for me to think that it's not some random or chance event, but rather it is connected to me.

At first, when I noticed this random pattern (but a pattern all the same), of lights going out as I walked underneath them, I decided to put it to the test. There was one particular street light in one of the university car parks that always, without fail, went out as I walked underneath or past it. I thought "perhaps there is some loose connection or something in the ground nearby that causes the light to go out when I step on it?" (You can see why I'm not an electrician.) So one evening, I got a friend to walk ahead to test the theory. The friend was about my height and build, so the pressure on the ground around the light would be the same and lo, as the friend walked towards the light - nothing happened.

I walked on to join them and... the light went out as I approached it.

Lately, I've noticed one of the lights in the gym car park seems to do the same thing. As I drive in, I can see the light and it's fine. A strong, steady beam emitting from it. No problems. I can even park my car near it, and nothing happens. Until I get out of the car, that it. Then the light flickers... and goes out. I've watched others do the same - park their car in the same spot and when they get out, nothing happens. Then I walk over. Light goes out.

Hmm...

Is it possible for humans to emit some sort of... frequency?... that could affect the light bulb? Or is this special power something that has been reserved for me and me alone, and I should give up my job and spend the rest of my life learning to control it and using it for good (or evil)? If so, can I wear this costume?

What should I do? And, more importantly, what should I call my super self?