Digital devolution

So, I'm a bit of a geek, and, as such, I'm quite a fan of most modern technology. But I have to admit that I'm baffled by the recent urge people seem to have to "digitally remaster" every goddamn thing.

Take, for example, Star Wars. The three original Star Wars movies were bloody fantastic. Great plots, great special effects (considering when they were made), great characters, sexy actors (Harrison Ford in THOSE leather trousers - yum!), the films had everything. So, how delighted was I when they released them on DVD! Very delighted, that's how much, especially since my video player had packed it in and went to electronic heaven.

But... then I started to notice that... the films weren't quite the same as they used to be. There was all this newfangled digital imagery going on. And it just didn't work. Jabba looks ridiculous now, as do most of the other freaky characters in those scenes. I mean, before, we knew they were puppets and people dressed up in foam costumes, but they were still believable. Now, they just look crap.

Same goes for digitally remastered music. Record companies have started taking these old tunes, and whacking them through a computer in a bid to make them sound "better". But, by doing so, they remove all those wonderful old scratchy sounds which are as much as part of the music as the lyrics or the tune. I'm thinking of CDs I heard recently by people like Billie Holliday and Louis Armstrong (the cheaps ones you get for three quid in Tescos - I refuse to pay more than a fiver for music).

The only time I've ever agreed with digitally remastering is on the Led Zeppelin DVD featuring the 1970 gig at the Royal Albert Hall and the 1975 gig at Earl's Court. Basically, they found a whole load of old footage, cleaned it up and stuck it on this DVD, and the result is just awesome. There were bits of the film reel that had actually disintigrated or been damaged beyond repair, but instead of trying to generate graphics, they just stuck in a couple of stills instead. The result is a fantastic, continuous concert, with some rare footage and some great shots of the band.

Other than this, I think digital remastering needs to stop. I'm a dedicated follower of the "If it ain't broke, don't fucking break it" school of thought. I understand the need to put old music and movies on new media formats such as CDs and DVDs, but why can't they just transfer it across as is?

Anyhoo, aside from that, I think that the digital revolution has triggered a devolution in the human species. The easier life gets, the more stupid we become. I used to be able to remember loads of phone numbers and do long division in my head. But now that I've got a mobile phone, I can only remember my home number in Ireland, and I can barely add two numbers together without the use of a calculator.

I almost wish that whole Y2K fiasco had become a reality. That would have been fun. People actually having to get up off their arse to switch on the radio, or change TV channels. People going outside for walks instead of sitting inside playing computer games. Proper home cooked meals, instead of microwaved crap. People actually having real conversations instead of IM'ing strangers all over the world.

Then again, if it had happened, you wouldn't be reading this blog, so I suppose it's not all bad.