I love horror.
Regardless of the medium, horror never ceases to fascinate me. Like gawking at the rotting corpse of some unlucky animal, lying by the side of a dusty road with its guts squished across the asphalt, I can't help but be drawn to horror. My morbid curiosity gets the better of me, and I stare, transfixed, at the screen, the page or the canvas.
I'm addicted to the sense of my flesh crawling, as I imagine unspeakable events unfolding before me. My spine turns to ice. My scalp tingles. My heart quickens. My mind starts shrieking...
You know that quote: "Ever wake up screaming only to realise you weren't asleep"? I think that's one of the most evocative, horrific quotes imaginable. That quote verges on the edge of madness. That's the point when the human mind collapses into insanity. When you wake up screaming only to realise you were never asleep, that's when you know there's no going back.
And that, to me, is the epitome of good horror. Something so awful that madness would be a welcome release.
I much prefer psychological horror, rather than slasher- or blood'n'guts'n'gore-type horror. I prefer the stuff that makes you think. The stuff that really gets under your skin. The stuff that in broad daylight seems ludicrous but at night time, when you're lying in your bed listening to the wind and the rain outside, and your brain is working overtime.... that's the stuff I like.
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My love affair with the macabre started when I was quite young. I remember watching my first horror film. I can't remember what it was called, but it was about a man who falls into a coma and then dies. However, the doctors resuscitate him and bring him back to life. But, he's different. He goes home to his wife and family, but she notices that he's not the same. It's like something inside him, some fundamental human trait, was lost when he died, and was never recovered when he was resuscitated.
I remember watching that movie when I was about nine or ten years old. My parents and my brothers had all gone to bed, and I had stayed up watching some documentary on TV. I was flicking through the channels, and saw the opening credits of this movie. It looked interesting, so I started watching. Two hours later, I crawled into bed, scared shitless. And I was hooked.
I graduated onto reading Stephen King. I think the first Stephen King book I read was "It", quickly followed by "The Stand" and "Pet Sematary". I remember reading "The Dark Half" on a ferry to France when I was 16 and nearly vomiting at the idea of having an undeveloped twin in your brain. It's such a ridiculous idea, but King's mastery is in making the ridiculous absolutely sublime.
With King, my obsession with all things dreadful and horrific was sealed. I started actively seeking out more horrible, frightening and ghastly books, devouring them at an almost fanatical rate. I'm sure my parents were slightly worried with the level of my fanaticism. But, I wasn't dressing like a Goth or a zombie, so I suppose they weren't too concerned. I would make bi-weekly trips to the local library, scouring the shelves for some nightmarish book to read, quizzing the librarians about the collection, begging them to buy in more books.
Even on holiday, I wouldn't and couldn't escape. I remember going on a family holiday to Co. Kerry. We were staying in a beautiful house in the middle of the countryside, surrounded by breathtaking views of the mountains and the coast. But the highlight of my holiday was coming across a battered old copy of Poltergeist on a dusty bookshelf. I grabbed the book and retreated to my room where I stayed up all night reading it. I have always had an overactive imagination, and sitting in a huge bedroom in a strange house in the middle of the countryside, with the wind howling around us outside, my mind boggled at the horror of that story. Once scene in particular stands out in my memory - when one of the ghostbusters goes into the bathroom and looks in the mirror and starts pulling chunks of flesh off his face. I still get goosebumps when I think of that.
Of course, I've since seen the movie Poltergeist and, whilst it's not as good as I had imagined, it's still pretty scary. In fact, I watched it again a couple of weeks ago and was amazed that it still has the same effect on me as it did the first time I saw it, many many years ago.
As far as movies go, anything with children or religion in it is pretty much guaranteed to give me the creeps. The Exorcist, which combines the two, is one of my favourite (can something that scares that much you be considered a favourite?) movies. Interestingly, The Exorcist was banned in Ireland for over twenty years. It was made in 1973, but was only released in Ireland in 1999. I remember going to see it in a cinema in Cork and, despite the fact that everyone else was laughing (nervously) at the outdated special effects, it still chilled me to the bone. That scene where the kid crawls backwards down the stairs...
*shudder*
The Omen is another favourite of mine. I went to see the remake that was released on the sixth of June this year and, even though it wasn't as good as the original (the acting was a bit wooden), the story still gives me the willies.
I think that classic horror films, such as The Exorcist and The Omen and Poltergeist tend to be more frightening than modern-day horrors in spite of the outdated special effects. When there was no such thing as computer generated animation, films relied more on the actual story. The plot was central to the film. The directors used music and lighting to build the tension and create an atmosphere.
Take, for example, two popular slasher movies: Psycho, which was released in 1960, and Scream, which was released in 1996. For all its special effects and gore, Scream still seems, to me at least, to be more of a comedy than a horror film. Psycho, on the other hand, still scares me, even though it was filmed in black and white with little or no special effects. Of course, Wes Craven whilst undoubtedly talented is nothing compared to the genius that is Alfred Hitchcock.
Some more modern horror films have really appealed to me. I went to see the American remake of The Ring, and that gave me nightmares for three weeks afterwards. No exaggeration. I think part of the reason that it scared me so much was that I watched it in the cinema with approximately 200 other people. There's something about 200 people screaming in unison that will put fear into even the most stoic heart. I saw the Japanese original soon afterwards, but it was more comical than horrific. Having said that, I've also seen Dark Water (the original Japanese version) by the same director, Hideo Nakata, and it's bloody scary! Again, it's got the kid connection.
I really enjoyed The Others. It's not so much a horror as a psychological thriller, but still a very interesting story (even if it is a little predictable) and very well made.
The Blair Witch Project had a profound effect on me too. I was living in Canada when it was released, and I remember this sort of underground hype that was slowly building up about this film. There were rumours that it was true etc., and online interviews with "local" townspeople and sheriffs, and even the families and friends of the "victims". Part of you was thinking "yeah right, it's all a big publicity stunt for the movie", but part of you was thinking "but what if...?" It was so well marketed that it was believable. Again, it was a very simple concept, with no special effects whatsoever and it worked. The last scene, of the guy standing in the corner of the room.... still chills my blood.
One film that I saw recently that I really didn't enjoy was The Hills Have Eyes. This is everything a horror film should not be. It was vile and disgusting, and really disturbing. I suppose that's also the mark of a good horror - preying on your darkest fears - but this was done in such an offensive way that it made me feel physically ill. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I had to watch three episodes of Father Ted afterwards, just so I could go to bed in peace. Come to think of it, Father Ted would probably be considered a horror to some people ;)
I also enjoy the macabre in paintings. I recently mentioned an exhibition that I went to in the Tate in London entitled "Gothic Nightmares: Fuseli, Blake and the Romantic Imagination". This exhibition was based around Henry Fuseli's painting "The Nightmare". "Ever since it was first exhibited to the public in 1782, this picture has been an icon of horror. Showing a woman supine in her boudoir, oppressed by a foul imp while a ferocious-looking horse glares on, the painting draws on folklore and popular culture, medicine, concepts of imagination, and classical art, to create a new kind of highly charged horror image." (source: London Town)
The exhibition also displayed some of Blake's more sinister engravings, and, as a fan of Blake's work, I was immensely excited and fascinated to be able to stand in front of the work of this macabre genius.
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I've noticed recently that horror seems to affect me more profoundly than it ever did before. In the past, I would watch a horror film or read a book and, whilst it would give me the shivers, I was usually able to shake it off quite quickly and carry on. Nowadays, however, it seems to stay with me for longer. I think about it more. I marvel at the depraved mind that came up with the idea behind it and wonder what it would be like if it were me in that situation. Maybe it's because I'm more aware of my own mortality? Maybe my imagination has gone into overdrive? Maybe it's because I've been reading too much Stephen King? Or maybe I'm just sick in the head.
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